The Greatest Accomplishment: Knowing Who You Are

 “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I recall a few years ago when I was informed that I was going to serve as a Church Elder for the very first time in my local church for a two-year term. Like all the other roles I have occupied as an adult, I took it upon myself to learn what was required to be an efficient and effective leader.

I found a course on Adventist Resources and immediately enrolled. My initial expectation was that the course would guide me into becoming a better leader. But to my surprise, the key lesson was different—it was teaching me that becoming a better person is what truly makes one a good leader. For anyone interested, you can explore it here: Elders Course 101.

One aspect that struck me deeply from the course—and that I want to reflect on today—is the matter of identity.

When asked, “Who are you?”, the most common response is to describe what we do. For instance, I might say, “I am an Accountant, Auditor, Economist, Businessperson, or Marketer.” But the truth is—those are not who we are. Defining yourself solely by your career or role is dangerous. If, for example, a sports personality suffers an injury that ends their career, does that mean they cease to exist as a person? Absolutely not.

So, who are you really? It is a simple but deeply defining question. In today’s world of social media comparison and constant external influence, knowing who you truly are is critical. When you understand your true identity, you will not be easily swayed, derailed from your goals, or pressured into habits that don’t align with your values.

Your identity must be something consistent, something that does not change with time or circumstance. Think of it as “master data”—foundational elements that define you:

·        Your Name – It distinguishes you from others and is a constant marker of your uniqueness.

·        Your Gender – It shapes how you carry and conduct yourself in public, whether as a man or woman.

·        Your Culture – It grounds you in fundamental beliefs and provides a springboard for your growth.

·        Your Faith – It guides your ethics, morals, and how you interact with the world.

When you focus on these elements, you begin to realize that you may have been short-changing yourself by identifying yourself only by temporary roles or current struggles. You are not just “poor” or “vulnerable”. You are also not just a Teacher, Accountant, CEO, CFO, or Board Member. You are much more.

And when you fail to correctly identify yourself, society is robbed of meaningful and impactful contributions that could have changed the course of history. How many times has a leader made a costly decision simply because those around them were afraid to speak up? If only an advisor to a President was brave enough to say, “Sir, this decision is not in the public interest,” rather than being a “yes-man,” lives and nations might have been transformed.

You may “just” be a servant or cupbearer, but if you truly know your identity, you will understand that you carry value. You may even be the one who holds the key to the King’s or Nation’s dreams. Knowing this, you will not keep quiet—you will speak. You will not self-pity yourself! You will be the best version of yourself each and every day. Your Temporary setting does not define who you are.

Personally, this realization has helped me greatly. I have sat in councils with men whom society considers far “above me,” yet I contributed meaningfully because I never let social status define my worth. I stand with confidence, engage decision-makers with respect, but never feel inferior—because I know who I am.

Your identity cannot be borrowed or copied from someone else. It is unique and must be discovered, shaped, and lived out by you.

And I also recall a childhood poem taught to me by my Grade 3 teacher which has stayed with me:

“I am me, and me alone, no one else is me. I stand alone, yes I do, because I am me and me alone.”

May this reminder help you, as it has helped me, to embrace your true identity with confidence.

Who are you?

Kindly share your own experiences and how you have dealt with them in the comments section so we can encourage each other to keep the spirit of helping alive.

For more thought-provoking and inspiring stories like this one, explore other articles on my blog.

Thank you for reading — your time here means more than you know.

 

When Kindness Hurts: The Hidden Cost of Helping

 

"No good deed goes unpunished — yet the world would be darker if good deeds ceased."

I was visiting a friend when a random person walked into her office, requesting financial assistance. After the visitor left, my friend began to share a painful experience — one that forever changed her view of kindness.

For years, she had been sponsoring the child of a single parent from her church, covering school fees and even providing basic household needs. Over time, the relationship between her and this family grew into something like a close family bond.

One day, she received a distress call from the University Teaching Hospital: the child she sponsored was critically ill and admitted. She rushed to the hospital, met the child’s mother, and waited anxiously as doctors and nurses attended to the young patient. Tragically, the child passed away.

As someone who had supported the child for years, my friend took it upon herself to help with funeral arrangements — covering expenses and working alongside the grieving family. But behind the scenes, whispers began to circulate among some church members. They told the child’s mother that my friend had used the child for “satanic rituals,” claiming her generosity was evidence of ill-gotten resources.

In her grief and anger, the mother confronted my friend, declaring that no one had asked her for help and that she was no longer welcome at the funeral. The rejection and accusations shattered my friend’s spirit. She withdrew completely from helping others — a part of her identity simply died that day.

Being a Christian believer, my friend later concluded that perhaps, because she had the gift of giving, she was under a spiritual attack aimed at destroying both her gift and her faith. She resolved that she would still continue to exercise her gift — but now with caution, and often from a distance, to create some safety.

Sadly, this is not an isolated story. I recall another friend who once gave someone a lift, only for the car to crash — killing the passenger. Despite good intentions, tragedy struck, and the emotional burden was immense. He too was accused of causing the death.

I’m sure you can relate to these stories just as I can — because I have not been spared either. It might not be as tragic as someone dying. Perhaps you have fallen prey to a scammer pretending to need help. Or maybe you sacrificed all you had to ensure another person lived better, only for them to later mock you for “wasting” your opportunities. Some may even hurl insults at you.

We are taught that it is good to help those in need. But what happens when your help leads to pain, loss, or even betrayal? Do you retreat and harden your heart, or risk being hurt again?

Maybe this is why some wealthy people guard their riches, refusing to help even their own family. The truth is, the world will always need kindness — not just for ourselves, but for others. Helping without expecting anything in return is noble, but we must also brace for the reality that sometimes kindness will come back as an insult, a wound, or even a false accusation.

And yet… we still need the brave few who choose to help anyway. Because without them, the world would be far colder than it already is.

Please share your own experiences and how you have dealt with them in the comments section so we can encourage each other to keep the spirit of helping alive.

For more thought-provoking and inspiring stories like this one, explore other articles on my blog.
Thank you for reading — your time here means more than you know.

 

That ‘Ka’ Ticket: When Fun Turns Into a Trap

 

 “You cannot change the people around you, but you can change the people you choose to be around.” – Anonymous

It’s been said that “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.”
This truth hit me hard this week while working on an assurance engagement with colleagues. I realized that, over time, we unconsciously adopt habits—both good and bad—from the people we spend the most time with.

And it’s not just work habits. Because many of us spend more waking hours at work than at home, we inevitably pick up personal traits, attitudes, and even values from those around us. Learning often happens informally and subconsciously. That’s why your chances of succeeding at something—whether it’s dieting, exercising, or starting a new habit—increase significantly when you’re surrounded by people pursuing the same goal.

Some years back, I strongly disliked gambling and betting. I didn’t just avoid it—I actually detested it. But then I worked in an office where, every Monday morning, colleagues (men and women alike) would passionately discuss their weekend betting wins and losses. Strategies were shared like prized secrets, and before I knew it, my sports knowledge became useful to them in “predicting” outcomes.

At first, I didn’t bet. I only helped others strategize. But curiosity eventually got the better of me. I opened a betting account, convincing myself it was “just for fun” with small amounts. The small wins were exciting… and then came bigger bets. And with bigger bets came bigger losses.

I learned the hard way that betting is a business built to win. Many gamblers live in the illusion that they can beat the system. I’ve seen people lose staggering amounts, only to borrow more money in the hope of recovering it with “just one more win.” It’s heartbreaking to watch.

Here in Zambia, there’s an ongoing debate about the social and economic effects of the betting industry. Betting companies point to the taxes they pay and the rare jackpot winners as evidence of their “positive contribution.” But for most, the story is one of mounting debt, broken families and crushed hope which is mostly evidenced of late with an increase of reported suicide cases related to gambling— this is exacerbated especially in an economy that offers too few decent, well-paying jobs.

Before you share that ka ticket or ka promo code, pause and think about the impact it could have on the person who uses it. It’s a double-edged sword—you might be handing them a path to that K1,000,000 dream, or you could be leading them straight into the abyss of destruction.

What concerns me even more is the exposure of children to betting. In many cases, though illegal there are a lot of pre-registers sim cards on the market. Parents too, pre-register SIM cards in their own names and give them to their children for ease of communication. While the intention may be innocent, these SIM cards can easily be used by minors to open betting accounts—because to the betting company, they appear to be dealing with an adult. This creates a hidden doorway for children to engage in gambling long before they have the maturity to understand its risks.

This is why conversations with minors about the dangers of gambling are not just important—they are essential. The lessons we impart to our children today will serve as their compass tomorrow, especially in adulthood when we, as parents, will not always be there to protect them. By teaching them now about the traps, illusions, and real-life consequences of betting, we equip them to make wiser choices when they are on their own.

From where most families stand, the harm caused by gambling is not limited to the person placing the bets. Emotional wounds, mental stress, and even physical health issues ripple through households, affecting everyone close to the gambler. I’ve seen husbands, wives, and parents forced to settle debts they didn’t even know existed—debts with nothing to show for them because every borrowed Kwacha had been lost to betting in the desperate hope of a “big win” that never came. The pain is compounded by the realization that this cycle often leaves the family financially broken, emotionally drained, and with trust deeply eroded.

If you’re an adult struggling with gambling, the road to freedom begins by removing the triggers:

• Delete and close all betting accounts.
• Block betting sites on your devices.
• Limit your phone use if necessary.

It’s not easy, but regaining control of your life is worth the fight.

The new soccer season is almost here. I hope your version of “responsible living” isn’t the illusion of “responsible betting,” but rather the wisdom of not risking money you can’t afford to lose.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I value your feedback, so please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments. And while you’re here, take a moment to explore some of the other topics I’ve written about—you may find something that speaks to you.

Lesa Afwa Aba Yafwa: Faith Alone Is Not a Financial Plan

My dear Christian friend,

For a long time, you have been taught to lay up your treasures in heaven, where moth and rust cannot destroy. And you have indeed been diligent—faithful in giving, sacrificial in service, committed to ensuring that your heavenly storehouse is well supplied. You do all this with full confidence in the promise that “Try me, and see if I will not fill your barns with plenty.”

Yet your earthly storehouse remains empty—and you still hold on to the promise.

I have witnessed some rather extreme encounters with several diligent and faithful Christian believers who at times I have failed to understand. I once worked with a young woman who gave her entire salary to her church pastor, believing she was sowing a seed for success. Tragically, she ended up surviving on debt. When she eventually lost her job, the lenders came calling, but sadly all the pastor could offer her were prayers.

Well, it's not rocket science.

While laying up treasure in heaven is noble, it doesn’t take away the reality that you have a life to live on earth. You must eat, raise children, build a future, and prepare for the day when your strength is no longer sufficient to hustle or tamanga.

Some have interpreted the Bible in ways that are well-meaning but unbalanced. One well-known public figure even went to the extent of declaring “Hunger is biblical,” drawing from the story of famine in Egypt. But he missed the bigger lesson: saving is also biblical.

During Egypt’s seven years of abundance, Joseph—through divine wisdom—advised Pharaoh to store up grain in anticipation of lean times. Not in the heavenly storehouse, but in earthly silos. This was God’s way of teaching that divine foresight must be coupled with human action. God could have miraculously sustained them through the famine, but He instead taught a lesson in planning and saving.

This same principle applies to our personal resources and finances.

The Bemba adage remains true: "Lesa afwa aba yafwa"—God helps those who help themselves. Many of us don’t fail because we lack plans. We fail because we don’t act on the plans we have—especially when it comes to saving.

We often ask, “Why should I save?” But saving is not a lack of faith—it is a wise expression of stewardship.

Even nations fall into the same trap. Zambia, like many developing countries, has at times found itself debt-stressed, not because of a lack of intent, but because of a failure to act on sound policy.

Imagine if the Sinking Fund proposed by the late Finance Minister Alexander Bwalya Chikwanda (ABC) had not only been announced but actually established and maintained. We may not have had all the funds needed to repay our debts, but we would at least have had something—a foundation to build on.

Imagine if we had made realistic efforts to cut the fiscal deficit, to reserve part of our income tax. Today, rather than running to borrowing from the World Bank and IMF or at high interest, we could have become lenders.

This isn’t just about governments—it’s about you and me.

There is a Bible declaration that may Christians lay claim to, “You shall be the head and not the tail.” It also emphasizes that “You shall lend to many nations, and not borrow.” But that promise is not automatic. There is a formula. You cannot consume all your earnings and still expect to rise. You cannot live for today and expect tomorrow to take care of itself. You cannot lend from the treasure in the heavenly store house or from nothing but from the Reserves you have built up on earth.

Businesses, too, can greatly benefit from the principle of saving. Good financial management is not just about generating profits but also about making prudent decisions on how those profits are used. It is not always advisable to distribute all profits as dividends. Instead, retained earnings can be reinvested into future business ventures that present positive Net Present Value (NPV)—a key indicator of long-term value creation.

Retaining and reinvesting profits often provides a cheaper source of capital compared to external borrowing. This is because the cost of retained earnings is generally lower than the interest rates and financing costs associated with debt. Moreover, it reduces cash flow pressure by avoiding the rigid repayment obligations and interest expenses that come with loans.

The wise store up reserves. The faithful act with foresight.

You won’t always be young. You won’t always have the energy or opportunity to earn. That’s why your earthly storehouse matters. And beyond your lifetime, what legacy will you leave?

Heavenly rewards cannot be inherited by your children. But your earthly investments, wisdom, and values can be. Abraham left an inheritance for Isaac. David left enough wealth for Solomon to build a temple that bore his name, yet most of the resources came from David’s preparation.

So, dear Christian friend, live a balanced life. Serve God, yes. Store treasure in heaven, yes. But also live wisely on earth. Build your earthly barn with discipline and foresight.

“Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving.”
— Warren Buffett

“The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.”
— H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Faith without action is dead. Planning without execution is empty. And promises without stewardship are easily forfeited.

Act wisely. I am working on my saving habit - lets save together.

With love and wisdom,
PCB

 

Why Systems Beat Goals – Every Time

 

James Clear, in his bestselling book Atomic Habits, puts it plainly:

"You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems."

He explains that while goal setting is helpful, it’s not always effective in forming lasting change. In fact, many people revert to bad habits after achieving their goals—simply because they never built the systems to sustain progress.

I’ve found this to be true both individually and at the organizational level. Often, we focus all our energy on reaching a target—but when the target is hit, we’re left unsure of what’s next.

Not too long ago, I came across a funny post of someone doing a mid-year evaluation:

·        Buy a car became Buy a carpet

·        Save K10,000 became Save K10

·        Live a happy life became Just live

Sounds familiar?

Every January, we set ambitious goals—yet by mid-year, many of us feel lost or unmotivated. It’s not because we lack discipline or good intentions—it’s because we didn’t build systems.

Let’s bring this closer to home: For years, both past and current Presidents have lamented the increase in audit queries in government ministries and departments. To emphasize just how serious this matter is, one of the Cabinet Office’s strategic objectives—boldly printed on the wall at the Cabinet Office reception—is to reduce audit queries.

Yet year after year, some Controlling Officers still find themselves summoned before the Parliamentary Accounts Committee (PAC), forced to publicly explain and defend their failure to follow public finance and procurement procedures. These sessions are often televised—turning what should have been internal accountability processes into national embarrassment. And sadly, even ministries that clear their audit queries one year often fall back into the same issues in the next, because no system was put in place to prevent recurrence.

We’ve also seen well-debated national budgets passed with optimism, only for supplementary budgets to be presented halfway through the year—often coupled with requests for additional borrowing. Why? Again, good goals, but poor systems.

The truth is:

✅ When we build strong systems, we don’t need to chase compliance—compliance becomes automatic.
✅ When we build lending systems, people who are creditworthy and project-ready get funding—and repayments follow naturally.
✅ When we build systems for fiscal discipline, deficits reduce—not because of a “Super President”—but because the system works.

And on a personal level:

·        Build a system for focus, and you won’t be easily distracted.

·        Build a system for saving, and you'll accumulate wealth—not because of a target, but through habit.

·        Build a system for results, and your output will speak for itself across every task you take on.

I’m currently working on building systems in my own life—and going forward, I’ll only focus on upgrading and enhancing those systems.

👉 If you haven’t read Atomic Habits by James Clear, I highly recommend it. It’s a brilliant guide to building systems that lead to lasting change.

If your organization needs help building systems that drive results, let’s talk. Email me at bweupep@hotmail.com or send me a message.

Also, leave a comment—I welcome all feedback. There’s no such thing as bad feedback; it all helps me grow.

📖 For more articles, visit my blog: https://chilukakula.blogspot.com

Stop chasing goals—and start building systems that work

 

Leaked !!!: What If It Was You?

 

“All of us are like the moon — we have a dark side we don’t want others to see.” – Kahlil Gibran

Yesterday afternoon, while working with colleagues at the office, our conversation veered toward a trending explicit video allegedly showing a well-known young woman performing oral sex on a fellow well-known young man.

Let me be clear: I’ve heard and read about it, but I have not seen the video — nor do I intend to. I am not personally connected to either party, and I don’t have any deep knowledge about their lives or character. But that conversation sparked a sobering reflection.

In today’s world, every morning we wake up — and every night we go to bed — without our shame or the shame of someone close to us being leaked to the public, we should be thankful. Very thankful.

You can live as cautiously as possible, making wise decisions to avoid compromising situations. But some things will always be out of your control — especially the actions of those closest to you. You can raise a child with all the love, values, and structure in the world, but at the end of the day, their decisions are their own. The same goes for siblings, cousins, even parents. When they find themselves in scandalous situations, you’re often dragged into the judgment and consequences, even if you had nothing to do with it.

Society is quick to connect dots that don’t exist. If I were to make a headline tomorrow for theft or some other indiscretion, people would start analysing my entire family. "That explains why his father was always quiet," or, "Maybe that's why his daughter behaves a certain way." The fallout wouldn’t end with me. I can only imagine the pain and embarrassment my secondary-school-going daughter would face. Or the shame my university-going son would carry, walking the campus halls knowing his peers had seen his father trending for the wrong reasons.

And it doesn't stop there. Scandals leave scars — not only on individuals but across families and even future generations. Some mistakes live on far longer than the moment they were made.

Still, life happens.

No matter how guarded or careful we are, we are all capable of making mistakes. And in truth, some of the most critical lessons in life come wrapped in shame and failure.

I’ve seen people online ask why anyone would record an explicit scene of themselves. Some call it stupidity. I don’t. I choose not to judge. A few years ago, a highly respected Minister in South Africa had an explicit video circulate online. Here in Zambia, we had a similar incident involving another respected and honourable Minister. These were not random people — these were public figures, leaders.

What does that tell us?

It tells us that even the best of us — no matter how wise, old, or educated — can be lured into indiscretion. We’re human. We make poor choices. Sometimes out of passion, sometimes out of curiosity, and sometimes just from sheer lack of foresight.

And yet, what defines us is not just our mistakes, but how we rise from them.

I deeply admire that former Minister who did not bury himself in shame. He had the courage to return to the very people he once disappointed — and sought re-election from his constituency. He won. That takes courage, resilience, and bravery. Even more inspiring was his wife — who publicly declared her forgiveness and stood by him. That was not a PR stunt; that was real-life work. Behind the scenes, I know, it took incredible strength, pain, and process to get to that place of healing.

I understand this because I’ve faced many challenges in my own marriage. Some of us are fortunate that our private drama hasn’t made headlines, but we’ve still broken under the weight of it. Many have separated. And those who have stayed together? We’ve had to learn that forgiveness isn’t a switch you flip. It’s more like ZESCO load shedding — unpredictable, frustrating, but something you work through until the light returns.

To forgive is one thing. To keep forgiving daily — yourself and your partner — is another. It's not easy. But it's possible. And necessary.

Here’s what I’ve come to learn:

• No one is perfect.
• No one can forgive you more deeply than you can forgive yourself.
• No one can accept your imperfection better than you.
• No one can move on from your past unless you do it first.

You are human. You will err. But you can also heal. You can grow. You can rise.

There is nothing impossible under the sun.

— PCB

 

Want more reflective content like this?
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Be part of the solution.

I’m conducting a confidential survey as part of a book project on abuse in relationships, if you or someone you know wants to contribute to this conversation:

👉 Click here to take the anonymous survey:

·       Reflecting on Men’s Relationship Behaviour (For men who have struggled with abuse or control)

·       Understanding Abuse in Relationships (Victim’s Perspective)

Together, we can build a better narrative — one of honest reflection, recovery, and redemption.

 

Are you Hot ?

Dear Christian,

It’s been a while since I last shared my thoughts with you, my beloved friends and colleagues. A lot has happened, and in that time, God has been speaking deeply to my heart.

I’m currently working on a project that reflects on intimate relationship abuse — looking at it from both ends: the experience of the victim and the inner struggles of the abuser. If you or someone you know would like to contribute, I have created two confidential and secure links below. Your voice matters, and every submission will be treated with the utmost respect and confidentiality.

🔹 Reflecting on Men’s Relationship Behaviour (For men who have struggled with abuse or control)
🔹 Understanding Abuse in Relationships (Victim’s Perspective)

Today, I was reflecting on a text from the bible:

"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth." Revelation 3:15–16

This message to the Church in Laodicea though old has significant relevance appeal to current times and events.

It reminded me of a scene from the movie War Room, where an elderly woman serves lukewarm tea to her guest — not because she lacked hospitality, but to drive home a lesson. Luke warmness is not only unappealing, it is ineffective and unacceptable.

In Bemba, there is a proverb that says: “Chimbwi afwile intangalala” — the hyena died with its legs splayed in every direction, because it couldn’t decide which way to go. Indecision is dangerous. It paralyzes us, blinds us to opportunity, and can cost us everything.

I can boldly state that an undecided person cannot even benefit from chance.

Many choose to remain neutral for fear of offending others, losing influence, income, or friends. But neutrality in moments of moral crisis is not love. It’s fear disguised. And fear is not of God.

As a professional in the field of accounting and audit assurance, I’m bound by the highest ethical standards. Yet, even in our field, we’ve seen glowing audit reports on organisations later found to be riddled with corruption and fraud  which the accounting and audit assurance professionals were alleged to be aware. These have led to collapsing institutions and shaking economies. Where were the Professional ethical voices of truth?

I am also led back to a personal moment early in my career. I had just completed a level National Accounting Technician (NATech) course and was desperate for work to support myself and continue my studies. After making several job applications which did not even yield responses of acknowledgement or regret, I was called for an interview at Spur Zambia for an Assistant Accountant position. After the interview, they asked if I had any questions. I did.

As a devoted Seventh-day Adventist Christian at the time, I asked if the role would require me to work on the Sabbath. They confirmed Saturdays were working days. I calmly responded that if I would be required to work on my day of worship, I would have to decline the job.

A few months later, after being hired, the Finance Manager who had sat on the interview panel told me it was that bold response — an unsolicited act of question — that made me stand out from the other candidates, which had included some individual that were more experienced and qualified than me. What seemed like a disqualifier became my selling point.

Today, it grieves me to see so many Christians in positions of influence who’ve traded their values for status or wealth.

Dear Christian, you are lukewarm when:

·        You lend your voice to advertisements that contradict the beliefs.

·        You represent brands that promote products undermining moral values.

·        You stay silent in boardrooms or parliaments while unjust laws and policies are being crafted.

·        You witness fraud, corruption or injustice and say nothing.

·        You continue to serve systems that no longer serve the people and never raise your voice.

Remember when Mordecai reminded Esther, “Perhaps you were made queen for such a time as this.”
Though her entrance to the king was unscheduled and dangerous, Esther chose to be hot — to stand for her people and speak the truth, even if it meant death.

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2

Be hot — bold in love, unwavering in conviction, and faithful in both public and private life. Let us speak truth to power, stand for the voiceless, and bring wisdom to a world desperately in need of light.

Reflect deeply. Worship intentionally.
With love and conviction,
PCB